Tom's First Parent's Evening

So on Tuesday afternoon we went to Tom's first parents' evening.  From experience from other parents we were expecting an easy time with the teacher telling us how lovely Tom is etc etc - especially as I baby-sat for Fred, one of his classmates prior to Tom's session.  His parents came home saying that the teacher said how fond of him she is and how well he is doing  etc etc.  However, we live in the North and Tom has a straight speaking teacher.

To be honest we were both taken by surprise and quite deflated by it all, and as a result we didn't ask the right questions.  Anyhow the upshot is this:

1) Tom hasn't made any notable friendships at school and doesn't seem to interact with the other children.  He will be around other children, but he isn't chatting / playing with them.  

2) He doesn't seem to be enthused or animated by anything.  There is no evidence of him really enjoying himself.  He doesn't seem to be motivated by anything - for example if they are doing writing / cutting etc (educational stuff) he thinks he can't do it and therefore doesn't do it.  All the other children will do it and then go back to playing and he will stay on his own not doing it.  The opportunity to play once he has finished isn't enough of a carrot to make him do it.  He ends up needing more teacher attention and encouragement than the others to finish off these tasks. 

3) He has good motor skills in that he can form letters well, but he struggles big time with scissors, which she finds strange as the two should go hand in hand.

4) He reads well but is unable to put the sounds he knows together to write words.  She finds this strange as apparently the other children who know all their sounds are attempting to write freestyle. He thinks he can't do it.

5) He knows his numbers well but doesn't seem to understand mathematical terms.  For example: when Mrs Pickard asked him what 3 add 2 was he said 32.  Apparently it took her completely by surprise as they don't focus on anything above 20.  We explained that he knows his numbers into the thousands now.  The problem I think is diction and hearing.  'Add' sounds like 'and'.  We discovered he can add and subtract, but you have to ask him using very specific words for him to answer correctly.

6) He still suffers very badly from lack of concentration.  It is very hard to keep him on task, especially when it is art / craft based.  When doing his reading, they very often have to take him out of the classroom so he focuses on it.

7) PE - he started off lacking in bravery but is now leaping and jumping with the others.

8) Positive news - he has gained enough confidence to talk to the class every week with his Wow Wednesdays - phew!

As you can see - he hasn't read the book on how to perform at school and is therefore confusing his teacher!  He has never done anything according to developmental books - I did explain this to her.  At least he is consistent in this respect.

I'm not worried about the educational side - they are all things that I can work on.  Mrs Pickard has given me a list of things to do with him.  She's even given me homework to do with him in Japan (a little cheeky as they have confirmed they will fine us!).  

What upset me was points 1 and 2: not making any notable friendships and not enjoying anything.  I had no idea.  He meets up with his friends outside of school quite regularly and plays happily with them, interacting with them and is generally a happy soul at home and a little mad at times.  Mrs Pickard said that she very rarely gets anything back from him.  She remembers one time when they got the parachute out and he was very happy and enthusiastic but that is pretty much it.  The last thing in the world I wanted for him was to be a loner at school.  I'm a little concerned that school is inhibiting him?  Why isn't he enjoying himself?  It could all be to do with his hearing - 5 year olds gabble and if you can't hear properly you would zone out.  I must admit I regularly zone out!

Anyhow it is good that she has told us as it is and didn't gloss over it.  I am glad for that as now we know what to work on.  On speaking to some mums who know him, they are all surprised with the feedback we got regarding his social skills, I guess he must act differently in the classroom to home?

We have spoken to him and he admits to not concentrating and not working hard on tasks but he is adamant that he does mix with his classmates, play with them and chat with them.  I don't know what / who to believe.  He has never been a leader, always a follower, so he probably doesn't initiate any activity but I thought he knew enough characters well enough now to have friends.  On speaking to Caroline (Fred's mum) when we arrived back to pick up Tom, she was quite surprised and thinks that Tom plays nicely with her two and shows animation in what he does.  Tom also seems to charm the girls and is always being proposed to.  He's been invited to Freya's house and got on really well with her there, so he can't be completely alone.

Anyway, we had a long chat with him this morning before school, he says he does enjoy it.  We told him to concentrate and to try at everything - that it is ok to make mistakes.  After school today after a session on ramps in the car park we did cutting and writing where I didn't tell him how to spell anything.  To be fair to him, he tried really hard and we ended up with a really nice collage which is going to Grandpa once he's presented it at Wow Wednesday next week.  We will keep working on him.

Quiet Weekends

 We've had two quiet weekends recently.

We started last weekend early on Friday.  We had to put the car in for repairs in Carnforth, I had a cake to deliver on the way in Hornby and Matt had a light work day so we thought we would get hold of a courtesy car and then head to Warton Crag, but we had thick fog and couldn't see a thing.  Instead we tried out the new cafe at Booths in Carnforth (free coffee for card holders so Matt was happy) and then got the train into Lancaster.  We knew we wouldn't be able to fill a day in Lancaster looking round the shops so we went to the Tourist Information Office and took advice.  We decided on the Maritime Museum.  First we tried out a new pub - Merchants 1688 - yet another good eatery.  After a false start with Lancaster, we are finding lots of fab places to eat.  We then walked down to the river and the museum.  It was quite small, but it was a pleasant experience.  Just to be the two of us, to be able to read everything and anything and go at our pace was lovely.  We learnt a bit about the area and chilled out.  Kate had offered to pick Tom up from school, meaning we didn't have to stress about getting back on time, which was lovely.

Bittern at Ribblehead

On the Saturday Charlotte came round to cut the boys' hair, we then nipped out for a greasy spoon at Inglesport.  The boys went to Settle Primary School where there was a small model railway show whilst I stayed at home and did some cleaning - very rock and roll!  The boys then headed out to Ribblehead to see Bittern going across the Ribblehead Viaduct and saw her in all her glory.  They came home very happy.

Sunday was a horrible grey and rainy day.  We had Matthew's 5th birthday to go to.  Once again it made me realise what good money Paul was as once again it was chaotic - mainly this time because there were few parents around.  We then popped into Seasons to get a bite to eat and headed home.  We decided to watch a film in the afternoon - Tom decided on Ice Age 2.  We almost got to the end before he started crying (all due to separation of the main characters).  Took quite a while for him to calm down - he really doesn't like emotional upset!

Tom + Pendolino

On Friday evening we met up with Rachael, Graham and Isabella for tea (I'm trying to change my diction) at The Game Cock.  It just happened that one of Tom's classmates, Lauren, was also there (celebrating her Dad's birthday) so we ended up all having a lovely time.  In fact Lauren made herself very much at home between Tom and Isabella colouring in and Lauren's Dad was embarrassed by a group rendition of Happy Birthday.  It was a lovely evening, but then it always is when we meet up.

Calzone and a pint for the boy

On Saturday I had a wedding cake to deliver at a really awkward time - 11.30 on Saturday morning. It was the last day for cheap tickets on the Settle-Carlisle line.  Because I was needed in Austwick at 11.30, the boys went on their own.  I dropped off my wedding cake (always a nervous experience) and then returned home not really knowing what to do with myself.  I treated myself to a long hot bath listening to my music which was absolute bliss and then spent the rest of the day doing some sorting out.  I attacked the airing cupboard which had 'stuff' chucked in it the day we moved in and as a result was in a huge mess.  It took me over 2 hours to sort it all out - but we now have order which is good (I'm becoming quite a housewife aren't I?)

Walking near Leck Beck

Sunday morning we headed down to the Scout Hut as there was a toy train fair being held.  It was a very small affair, no layouts, just a couple of stalls selling bits and pieces.  Believe it or not I was the only person to buy something.  I found a little wagon from Chipping Sodbury - I couldn't resist!  Once back home we headed out to Cowan Bridge, had an early lunch at the very lovely tea rooms there and then headed out for a walk along Leck Beck.  This was from a new book we bought recently.  We weren't sure what to expect but it was a really lovely walk.  We started off alongside the river, under a viaduct, through the tiny village of Leck, into a Gruffalo forest and into the Dales.  Then up along a small ridge and back.  A tidy 5 miles, which we all enjoyed.  Made even nicer because the sun came out and stayed out for the whole day.  A really lovely day.

Beautiful Weekend

Last weekend was one of those magical weekends.  It didn't rain (what?!) and everyone was in a good mood - hurray!

Nice sausage

Bernard Thresher

Saturday was quite busy.  In the morning we headed to Wigan as we had planned to meet up with the Francis's - it was Wigan's Continental Food and Drink festival - a yearly event.  They had a stage in the high street for it and the Lancashire Hotpots were due to play.  It was Debbie and Adam who got us into the Hotpots and after we told them we had seen them in Manchester they told us they were playing in Wigan and asked if we wanted to come along.  We got there early enough to explore the market and enjoy some lunch - German sausages for the boys and french mushroom thingy for me.

Having fun

Photo with the Hotpots

We then did some shopping as we were in the big city (although it wasn't long ago that we were in Leeds and Plymouth - so we really didn't need much).  We met up with the Francis's at the stage - right at the front!.  There was a support band on first and then the Hotpots.  They were as good as ever,  they are certainly a band who are better live than recorded.  There was lots of comedy and all the usual tunes.  Tom loved it - he was either attached to the front fence or in my arms dancing, grinning, clapping and unusually for him trying to sing along.  It was a really good day.  We even managed to get a photo of Tom and the Hotpots after the gig (phew - that's Wow Wednesday sorted for this week!)

We headed back home (Tom slept pretty much all the way) we had a quick small tea and then all headed out to The Auger's.  It was Ruth's birthday and she was holding a cheese, wine and pudding party.  It was strictly no children, but Ruth took pity on us not having any family nearby and anyway she has 3 children herself, so there were plenty of toys and children to play with.

Tom did really well, he was initially clingy (mainly due to a snappy little dog) but he was off playing with Florence and Blaise quite quickly.  I only had to see to him twice - both times Blaise had been hitting Tom (apparently he has a bit of a reputation).  Anyhow, he lasted until 11pm which was great. 

Throwing stones

Mum and Son

Sunday was a nice day, after feasting on Ruth's cheese last night we found out that there is a new cafe in Barbon (from where she bought the cheese).  We had to find out more.  We decided that as Tom was down on sleep we would do the nice river walk, past the magic chocolate tree into the Gruffalo wood and down the hill climb into the village.  The cafe was lovely - lots of cheese themed food.  It was run by a French woman who is your comedy French woman.  She teaches French at QES and collects frogs!  We got chatting - turns out she is 50 next year and would like a froggie themed birthday cake.  We will see if she orders one - that will be one I would definitely like to do (I am in the middle of a froggie wedding dummy cake at the moment).  After being well fed with cheese we headed back - stopping for lots of stone throwing.

I must say Tom was at his absolute best.  Very surprising as we expected him to be grumpy as he was down on sleep, but he was charming.  The weather got better as the day went on as well.  It was one of those days we didn't want to end.  

Ingleborough from Whernside

On top of Yorkshire

Monday dawned absolutely beautiful - clear blue sky.    I have 2 big cakes and 12 cupcakes this week to do, but the weather was too good to stay at home.  Following on from last Monday's success Matt suggested we walked up Whernside. I agreed, so 9.15 saw us parking at Ribblehead.  Whernside is the tallest mountain in Yorkshire, but the walk up it is much gentler than Ingleborough.  I found the walk much easier than Ingleborough - we had lots to enjoy, walking along the railway, a lovely waterfall, a mini lake, and then at the top the most amazing views: we could see the whole of Morecambe Bay,  Ingleborough and Pen-y-Ghent, the How Gills (near Sedburgh), Dent Dale, the snow on the Lake District mountains.  It was amazing and I was very pleased to make it and see it on such a fantastically clear day.  

We didn't finish the walk until after 1.30pm - so we headed to the Station Inn for lunch - which didn't hit the sides, got back home, had a shower.   I then had about half an hour before I had to pick up Tom from school.  Oh good news from swimming - Tom is finally ready to go up to the next class where he will learn to swim properly.  Yahooooooooo!  He will start in the next class after Easter.  

Catch Up

My first ever train ticket

Friday - the weather was revolting and we realised that the cheap fares were still on on the Settle and Carlisle railway, with two trainspotting boys what else were we going to do?  This time, however, we decided to be different, and headed to Leeds.  We found ourselves a really lovely Japanese restaurant for lunch where we pigged out big time, I found a big haberdashery (something I struggle with here is finding a good range of ribbons for my cakes) and there is a Lego shop in the shopping mall.  Not sure if you have visited a Lego shop recently but they are ace.  We discovered at Mum and Dad's that Tom likes making crazy vehicles, but we don't have any wheels, other than those that have come with kits.  At the back of a Lego shop are buckets and buckets of different Lego bits (including wheels) and some pots to fill (much like a pick and mix).  So out we got a pot and filled it to the top with wheels, flat boards (to form the base of vehicles), and lots of other interesting bits and pieces.  I'm not sure who was more excited - Tom, Matt or myself.  We certainly had fun and Tom will now be able to make his crazy vehicles.

At the falls

Saturday, another dull and dreary day with rain on the way.  We were humming and harring on what to do for the day when I suddenly remembered that we had promised ourselves a trip to the Black Sheep Brewery in Masham.  Matt then remembered that Aysgarth Falls were on the way so a plan was hatched and we packed up and piled in the car.

First stop was Aysgarth Falls - part of the National Park so it only cost to park the car.  We went for a little stroll as it wasn't raining and managed to do a decent walk viewing the high, middle and lower falls.  All along the way there were notice boards telling us not to attempt to cross to the other side.  We couldn't understand why as the water was roaring over the bedrock, however, when we got back to the visitor centre, we realised that the falls were at their absolute limit and normally they are at a dribble compared to what we saw.

Aysgarth Falls in good flow

Anyway, we were lucky in that the rain held off for the walk - we all enjoyed being outside for a while.  Had a good look around the shop - for some reason Yorkshire Dales NP shops sell a really good line of clothing - hoodies / waterproofs etc, I have a feeling that we will all have YDNP branded clothing soon.

We then headed to Masham and the Black Sheep Brewery and very lovely it was too.  They had a huge restaurant full of character and homemade food.  Tom plumped for pasta with vegetables which was really good - huge chunks of aubergine / courgette etc - tasted really good and he ate every morsel.  We were really proud because he could have gone for sausage and chips, fish and chips (all the usuals) but he plumped for the healthy option and obviously enjoyed it.  We then looked round the shop before heading back in the rain home.  Tom had a good sleep in the car home which was exactly what we / he needed after such a busy week.

Playing with Fred in the rain

Sunday was another horrible day.  We had a lazy morning and then headed over to the Atkinson's for the afternoon.  Tom hasn't spent much time with anyone his age this week - so we thought he would enjoy an afternoon with Fred.  He had a ball.  I took his 'boil in the bag' rain suit with us.  During a break in the rain they all went out riding their bikes, then the rain came down, but Fred and Tom didn't care and stayed outside playing getting absolutely drenched.  They were being proper boys and it was great.  They eventually came in, had a quick tea and then we headed back home so Tom could finish his thank you cards ready for school in the morning.

Thursday - Tom had his hospital visit for his hearing.  I was really impressed by the service, we got there 15 minutes early and they saw us 10 minutes early.  We had a consultation, then Tom had his hearing test: he put on some headphones, held a button and had to press it every time he heard a sound.  He did well at first, but I think he was just playing with it towards the end.  Luckily the operator had a camera on him and was able to see that he had lost interest and was fiddling!  He then had a pressure test on his ears and then we went in to see the consultant again.  He has 2 x glue ears, and a loss of between 30% to 40%, large adenoids and large tonsils.  The Dr was very surprised that he hasn't had more infections / illness.  His recommendation was for either hearing aids or grommets and maybe adenoids out as well.  He will need a general anaesthetic for the grommets / adenoids which is a worry.  They have given us a month to think about it - we should expect a letter shortly.  I took him to school and saw Mrs Pickard who is going to make sure he sits at the front for everything. He's not the first in his class to be diagnosed, Fred was diagnosed the same a week earlier and a girl in his class is going through the motions as well.  I guess it must be quite common.

Saturday it was raining again.  Tom has been invited to a swimming party later this month and he has a reputation of being quite clingy in the swimming pool when with me.  He's fine during lessons (although not yet swimming) but terrible with me.  Caroline invited me and Tom swimming with her and the boys at Whoop Hall where they are members of the gym.  It was a complete disaster, Tom spent pretty much the whole time crying and clinging to me.  Clinging so hard that he was basically strangling me.  Anyone would think that he had never touched water before and it was burning him.  I really don't understand what goes on in his head.  It took about 40 minutes for him to stop strangling me and just hold my hands with a woggle and then after an hour he finally wanted to jump in and swim with the woggle not attached to me.  Too late, but then Frank (who's only 2) was cold and it was time to get out and leave.  So then we had more tears.  I then asked him to have a shower - more tears, once I got him under the shower, I asked him to come out - more tears!  It didn't matter what I did or asked him, we got tears.  Even Caroline, who always sticks up for him said she thought the swimming party wouldn't be the best idea for him.  I got home completely drained.  We had lunch at home (we couldn't exactly go out as that would have shown him reward) and then headed to Kirkby Lonsdale to pick some bits up for the weekend.  When we got back we told Tom he was going for a nap.  He agreed - he knew he had done wrong.  After 30 minutes of playing around, he finally went to sleep and stayed asleep for over 2 hours - he must have been tired. This was great because we had booked tickets for the Ingleton Panto in the evening.  We had been told that it was generally good and worth watching.  After our visit to the Blackpool Panto, I thought it was worth a try.  We had got the last seats right at the back, but we were sat next to a lovely lady who arranged for 2 of us to swap with her more grown up children so we ended up in the third row - a great result.  Tom was enthralled by it all and only a little bit fidgety, he especially liked the song and dance numbers.  He even went up on the stage when they called for children which was very surprising (however, his friend Edward was sat in front of him and as soon as he moved, Tom shot up with him) He certainly was very happy and still going strong at 10pm when we got home - certainly a good thing that he had his long nap.

PS - I took him to his swimming lesson on Monday and it was if he was a different boy.  Happily jumping in by himself, laughing, dancing, chatting.  At one point the teacher dragged him under water for half a width and he surfaced laughing.  I could have strangled him!!!!!!

My Tea Party Cake

Isabella sipping her 'tea'

Sunday, Tom had been invited to Isabella's 4th birthday party.  We had offered to help so at 11 we found ourselves in Austwick putting up bunting and sorting out vintage crockery - she was having a Mad Hatter's Tea Party - I had made the cake to match.  For once Tom looked and acted old.  Most of the children were from the year below Tom and the development / maturity gap was noticeable.  Rachael and Graham (Isabella's parents) were in charge and doing all the games.  Wow!  They worked hard, I would have lost my rag many many times.  Matt and I realised just how easy we had it by employing Paul for Tom's birthday and Matt made me promise to always employ someone and to NEVER do it ourselves.  I was in complete agreement.  Anyhow, I think everyone had fun and the tea party was a very sweet idea.  The cake went down well, I got lots of really nice comments about the cake so you never know I might get something from it.

Playing games

Spoon and grape race

Tom being....Tom!

On the way up

The view from Ingleborough summit

On Monday morning I got a quick call from Kate before school asking if I wanted to go for a walk with her and Steph.  It was a gorgeous, gorgeous day and I don't have much work on this week so I jumped at the chance.  When I mentioned it to Matt he wanted to come too.  Kate picked us up after school drop off and we headed up the Hawes road.  It was meant to be a short one hour's walk - a circuit near Ingleborough, but as we walked round we hit one of the official routes up.  As it was still lovely we decided to head up and what a beautiful day to do it.  Blue sky and not a breath of air.  I was expecting the climb to be really tough, but I took it at my pace and got up much quicker than I expected.  After resting at the top we headed down to Ingleton.  I actually found this harder trying not to fall over whilst stumbling down.  We finished off with a visit to Inglesport for greasy spoon lunch. A fantastic morning.  My legs ached like hell on Tuesday - I guess I need to do it more often!

Derby meet up in Wigan and Half Term in Crapstone

We had a busy half term which kicked off on Saturday with a trip to Wigan to meet up with the Francis's and the Milburns - all of them.  This is the first time since Tom was a baby that we have all been together.  Unfortunately it was a bit of a flying stop as we didn't meet up until 1pm (Adam was on a night shift last night so needed time to sleep and the Milburns were coming up from Warminster so had quite a journey)  Got there right on 1pm to find the Milburns already there.  Tom was immediately at home - he was so excited about seeing Luke again, as soon as he saw him he was off.  Great, that meant I could chat.  Felt a little sorry for Jacob and Laura - they are 10 and 11 now - the age gap between them and Luke (6) and Tom is a little bit too big now.  However, they are well behaved and polite children so it wasn't a problem.  We have known each other now for over 20 years, and although we don't see each other very often when we do get together, we are straight back to being best of friends as if we last saw each other last week.  Everyone was on good form and we had a great couple of hours.  Before we knew it, it was time to leave. I made them have their photo taken before we left - as it is a rare occasion.

Derby Crowd in Wigan

We headed on down the M6 and M5 to Strensham services where we had booked a hotel for the night (there was no point returning home from Wigan to drive right past on the way to Devon the following day).  We had a motorway services dinner (5/10 - good for a services!) and then early to bed.  Took Tom ages to get to sleep - far too exciting for him - ended up having to give him a right good ticking off before he finally succumbed.

Bang!

We didn't have the best night's sleep and Tom was up very early! We got up, had a very expensive Costa breakfast and then headed back down the M5.  We stopped off at Trago Mills in Exeter.  Haven't been there for a long, long time.  The shop wasn't much to talk about, but it was very very big and we managed to get some craft supplies there, ready for thank you cards, then we had an average lunch, then went for a walk around and found signs to a model railway, we followed them and to our surprise found ourselves in a huge room with an amazing model railway layout.  It only cost £1 to enter - great value for money.  I was blown away by it, so you can imagine what the boy must been have thinking!  In the end we had to drag Tom away - Granma and Pop Pop were waiting after all!

Lego

We got to Crapstone without incident - in fact  the roads were clear the whole way down, we couldn't have asked for better (although there were loads of pot holes on the M5).  Granma and Pop Pop were in good form and Mum looked and was walking a lot better than I was expecting.  We settled in quickly, Tom was spoilt from the start - with a hamper full of birthday presents.   What a lucky boy.  

Lego collection


Monday - Matt worked for the day so the rest of us headed off to Royal William Yard for lunch at Serco.  As lovely as ever.  Tom, Granma and Pop Pop shared tapas, and after a little word with him he was really well behaved.  It was a very horrible day - rain, grey and yucky, so after lunch we went for a car ride around Plymouth and then headed to Tavistock so that I could buy some cake stuff.  When we got home Pop Pop was sent into the attic to retrieve the box of lego that Mum and Dad saved from our childhood.  It was quite exciting opening it up - there were some models still made up which must have been over 20 years old.  There were loads of wheels, bases, windscreens, windows etc so a lot of potential to make crazy vehicles, so we did.  Monday evening, Matt and I headed into Plymouth for dinner out - back to Royal William Yard and after looking around the various offers decided on Spanish / Mexican and had a selection of lovely tapas.  We then headed back to Serco for a couple of drinks before heading home.  Lovely.

Donkey

Grooming

Tuesday the three of us went out to a Donkey Sanctuary as recommended by Granma.  It was only x miles away (as the crow flies) but a bridge was closed, meaning that we were diverted an extra x miles to get there.  Oh well, the donkeys were happy to see us.  We bought some food so we could feed the sheep, goats and donkeys.  I thought Tom would be too nervous to feed them, but he was straight in, although he was a bit spooked out by a goat that followed him around.  We made the best of the dry part of the day and stayed outside for as long as we could, when it started to rain we headed into the huge play barn, Matt and I sat down and Tom played.  After an hour or so, we did one more circuit of the farm and said goodbye to the animals, we then headed back to Crapstone - but this time via Plymouth rather than the windy country roads.

With Granma

Wednesday we headed into Plymouth via the park and ride and double decker bus and did a shop in the 'big city' - getting all those things that we can't get in Ingleton - a shop at Primark (Tom is into skidding big time at the moment, meaning that the knees in his trousers are going before he grows out of them.  This is the first time I've had to buy more clothes the same size for him.  We then met up with Granma and Pop Pop at their favourite cafe for lunch on the sea front.  They headed home whilst we walked back into town and then got the bus back to the car.  The evening for us was spent on another date - this time in the pub at Buckland Monochorium.  We were back early though - we were both yawning and needed bed.